There was a woolly mammoth in my house. Had to coax it out with a banana before leaving so running a touch late.
— SW
The escalators have become self-aware and identified the human race as a threat. Using caution. Delays likely.
— MC
The cycling gods have got the hump because they caught me with one of their cousins and have seen fit to send a plague of flat tyres down upon me. Fuckers.
Running late. Iron Man is on my train. Unfortunately, his chest plate is causing all kinds of unwanted electrical disturbances and the signal is now down. He’s very embarrassed.
— MC
You wouldn’t believe it, but hedgehogs are protesting against unfair work opportunities, and as a result I will be about 15 minutes late.
Woah, worst journey ever. Fucking dog.
I am going to be late, in no small measure down to the fact that I drank far too much last night.
Obviously late. Obviously drunk.
Running a bit late. It’s a bit embarrassing actually. Got caught pillaging so had to join the nights watch. Just have to wait until they are looking the other way and I will make a dash for it.
