Im running late...

Texts sent and received of a morning.

May 17, 2013 at 9:31am
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There was a woolly mammoth in my house. Had to coax it out with a banana before leaving so running a touch late.

— SW

May 16, 2013 at 10:37am
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Be in at 10…

Be in at 10…

10:37am
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The escalators have become self-aware and identified the human race as a threat. Using caution. Delays likely.

— MC

May 8, 2013 at 2:04pm
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The cycling gods have got the hump because they caught me with one of their cousins and have seen fit to send a plague of flat tyres down upon me. Fuckers.

May 7, 2013 at 9:30am
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Running late. Iron Man is on my train. Unfortunately, his chest plate is causing all kinds of unwanted electrical disturbances and the signal is now down. He’s very embarrassed.

— MC

May 3, 2013 at 3:07pm
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You wouldn’t believe it, but hedgehogs are protesting against unfair work opportunities, and as a result I will be about 15 minutes late.

3:06pm
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Woah, worst journey ever. Fucking dog.

3:05pm
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I am going to be late, in no small measure down to the fact that I drank far too much last night.

3:02pm
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Obviously late. Obviously drunk.

2:56pm
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Running a bit late. It’s a bit embarrassing actually. Got caught pillaging so had to join the nights watch. Just have to wait until they are looking the other way and I will make a dash for it.